Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
