It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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