once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
