that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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