Tell her she can't have a vagina
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize