Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm like, not good at living.
Please don't give away my fajitas
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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