We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
