wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
