my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
