kristin has been a bad kristin
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
