She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
