I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
