Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
