Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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