i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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