Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
