do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
