Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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