Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's the barista slut.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
