i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
