you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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