I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
