He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
