Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
