Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
zippers are such a cool invention
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
