I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
