You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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