so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
