I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
