When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize