and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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