you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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