People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
