I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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