he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
