No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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