I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have tasted many bathrooms
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
