i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
