im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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