when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
