i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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