Did you just see the Batmobile???
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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