I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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