After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
