once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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