I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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