Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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