i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
