Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
