we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
