is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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