My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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