i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize