you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
