im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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