I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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