i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
