Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
