I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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