i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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