I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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