she was so not down for the gang bang
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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