Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
