One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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