will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize