I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
