Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
