Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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