im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
