Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
