just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize