Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
