you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
